Loss
by The Crowe
Summary: Xander has to cope with a choice which has resulted in death. Set after 'Normal Again'.


Loss  
  
Disclaimer: 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' is not my creation, neither is 'Angel'. They are both original ideas by Joss Whedon.  
  
Chapter 1: Thoughts  
  
Breakfast. The world-renowned first, and arguably, most important meal of the day. But to a certain redhead, the bowl of cereal being twirled around in front of her just didn't seem all that significant right now.  
  
Willow sighed. Back in the old days she'd have probably just magiced the cereal directly into her mouth.  
  
"Magiced? Is that even a word?"  
  
She broke for pause, to ponder this new line of thought. But eventually she just brushed it off, and returned to the previous contemplation. Just yesterday Buffy had suffered some sort of schizophrenia type thing, where she thought that no one else was real. Xander, Dawn, Tara and even Willow herself were apparently all just little figments of Buffy's imagination.  
  
Settling her spoon down to rest in her bowl once more, Willow again considered this factor. I mean, she sure felt real. Individual thoughts, moral values. In the end though, she was just glad that it was all resolved when Buffy killed the Glarkl Ganagh…Ghalhar?…demon that had caused her to hallucinate.  
  
Finishing the rest of her food she washed the dish up at the sink, making sure she got it as clean as possible.  
  
"Less housework…" she muttered to herself. She needed everything to be good for when Buffy woke up. Speaking of waking, she wondered when the hell Xander would be up. Willow had been kind enough to let him sleep on the floor in her room after the incident the day before, and upon waking up, had to carefully avoid his sleeping form. And god, he snored loudly! But being gay, she had nothing against Xander being in there. She still understood how he felt. Cowardly, guilty, upset. All conflicting emotions about one woman… Anya.  
  
"Couldn't have him staying in that rundown flat," she spoke out loud once again. She laughed. She was talking to herself a lot lately, or so it seemed.  
  
"Maybe I'm going mad?" she joked to herself, as she entered Buffy's living room and laid down on the sofa. For a split second, she considered phoning Tara, but decided against it being so early in the morning. Instead, she decided that the television was her next best option.  
  
Grabbing the remote control from the side, she flicked the TV on and began surfing channels aimlessly.  
  
"Cartoons….cartoons….crappy teen drama….cartoons…ah, the news will do," Willow decided. She had gotten behind in the news recently what with all that had happened. But as usual, there was nothing of particular interest being shown. Just a broad bulletin about the paranormal events occurring in Los Angeles. Bored, Willow closed her eyes and pondered something else. The bulletin brought back the memory of Angel and his motley crew in L.A. Hell, Angel was probably the cause of the paranormal events. Willow began giggling at that.  
  
"Haha, I should probably give Cordelia another phone call soon or something."  
  
The notion of a phone call then reminded Willow of one other thing. Giles. He hadn't really phoned that much at all, which was disappointing, but she did understand if he was busy.  
  
Slowly, Willow was drawn back to the news report, but this time seemingly about another story.  
  
'The body was found at 9:07am this morning, police are not treating the death as suspicious, but instead as a suicide via cuts to the wrist.'  
  
"Ewww…" Willow thought, imagining the loss of blood through killing yourself this way. Slightly intrigued by the news report, she kept on watching as a policeman began speaking.  
  
'Well, we discovered the body early this morning in the top flat. There was no real decomposition, so it must have been a recent death.'  
  
As the picture appeared onscreen of the subject of the report, Willow's stomach tightened, her skin went deathly pale and her thoughts became an incoherent jumbled mess.  
  
"Oh god…this….no."  
  
'The body has been indentified to be Anya Emerson, who it appears resided in the apartment of her discovery with another man. Whether or not this man is the reason for her suicide is unclear…'  
  
To Willow, the rest was just a blur…  
  
TBC 


End file.
